Tag Archives: encouragement

The Table

IMG_5948
IMG_5948

“This is how the world changes–little by little, table by table, meal by meal, hour by hour. This is how we chip away at isolation, loneliness, fear. This is how we connect, in big and small ways–we do it around the table.” – Shauna Niequist

It is dark and stormy outside of my kitchen window as I sit at the table and type these words. There are echoes of thunder and stiff breezes, but even though it is a Monday morning, the wetness and breezes are welcomed after one long hot humid summer!

The seasons are beginning to change as we face the autumn equinox in a few days. Day are noticeably shorter and if you stand real still you can catch a slight nip in the early morning hours! Fall is upon us.

In the church year, fall is always the start of the new…classes, studies, youth groups. After a summer of travel and rest, fall is the season to gather and settle in.

Table is a word that has been pressed upon my heart for many years and been echoing in recent months.

The kitchen table I work on was hand crafted by a dear, kind friend many years ago. It bears water rings, and dents and even some marker that just will not be washed off.

It is the witness to stories, and tall tales, and much laughter, and many tears. Some of its patina is from problems and worries that have been sorted out, spoken out loud, and dissected and sometimes left laying.

The table is part of the heart of this home.

The table is a sacred place, a sanctuary, a retreat, a place to be gathered in, accepted, and “heard”.

In her book, Bread and Wine, Shauna Niequist writes:

The table is where time stops. It’s where we look people in the eye, where we tell the truth about how hard it is, where we make space to listen to the whole story, not the textable sound bite.

The table is a sacred space, a space where we intentionally talk about God in our lives and our lives with God, not in the parameters of a Bible Study, but a normal meal, or coffee, or dessert.

It is a place to ask questions, “Where do you find value or meaning in your life?” “What are you currently dreaming about?” “What can I do to care for you?”

Everyone has a story and I believe that deep inside us all, we want people to know us, to know our story, to say “you too? I thought I was the only one.”

“What good thing are you doing in your life that is making you weary?”

“How might God be using your weariness to redirect His plans for your life?”

In Bread and Wine, it is explained,

We don’t come to the table to fight or to defend.
We don’t come to prove or to conquer, to draw lines in the sand or to stir up trouble.
We come to the table because our hunger brings us there.
We come with a need, with fragility, with an admission of our humanity.
The table is the great equalizer, the level playing field many of us have been looking everywhere for.
The table is the place where the doing stops, the trying stops, the masks are removed, and we allow ourselves to be nourished, like children.
We allow someone else to meet our need.
In a world that prides people on not having needs, on going longer and faster, on going without, on powering through, the table is place of safety and rest and humanity, where we are allowed to be as fragile as we feel.
If the home is a body, the table is the heart, the beating center, the sustainer of life and health.

Come to the table.

I want a table. I want a table where all are invited, a community table.

I am not sure how this will play out, where the table will be located, on what day of the week, or time of the day, but The Table will exist with an open invitation to just come.

*I promise more information will be coming!

The Days Are Long, But The Years Are Short

Brandi3

This is my good friend Brandi (I often refer to her as The Great Brandini for reasons that will be apparent as you continue reading). I’ve known Brandi for 15 years now, and I’ve known her husband since high school. Good people, Daniel and Brandi. And God-sent. Coming up on five years ago, they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse and I haven’t looked back. They invited me to attend SMC January 8, 2012 after my life completely imploded, and it was a life-changing and life-giving decision that I will never regret and will be ever-grateful for. So, when I need a little encouragement and inspiration (because being a single mom is hard…actually, being a mom is hard, period), I look at Brandi and value all that she brings to the table. I recently interviewed her to get a glimpse inside the daily workings of managing a household with four kids while trying to raise them in a God-centered way. What follows is the conversation we’ve had and what I see The Great Brandini live out each day.
************
Brandi’s Story:

I was very active in church growing up and, as a young teen, I taught preschoolers in Sunday
school and even competed in church competitions, like choir and puppet shows. I still remember at one of these competitions I asked Jesus to forgive me and live in my heart forever. I will always remember that joyful feeling. Another thing that has stuck with me from those formative years are the many adults that were at church consistently, and that same servant attitude has continued to resonate with me. The Bible says “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10 Admittedly, serving the way I would prefer has become a challenge with having four kids and a husband who works a crazy schedule! But the lesson is still there.

Balancing everything is a challenge whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom.
Believe me, I have done both but I can say that I am less stressed not working. I do miss the
social interaction that work outside the home brought, but I firmly believe it takes a village to raise a family. I encourage women, whatever their stage in life, to find a small group to meet up with a couple times of month just to get together for fellowship. On a daily basis, finding just a few minutes to read a daily devotional is a great way to focus on Jesus and the important things in life. Also, finding time to do something for yourself is very important. For me, it’s exercise, it helps me to maintain my sanity!

As for the kids, they all need different things but one thing that all have in common is that they crave my attention (and my husband’s, of course). We try really hard to spend one-on-one time with each of our four kids to quiet the noise and talk with them, play and just enjoy each other’s company. We normally say prayers at night with them which helps us all stay focused on what is important. We thank God for each other and our many blessings, we also pray for others who may be having health issues/problems, our sponsor child in Honduras and the list of names that we got several years ago at St Marks church. (Actually, several of those kids have since graduated but it’s been fun to see how God has worked in their lives). We want our kids to know that they can talk to Jesus anytime and about anything.

Because, in part, of the examples we both had growing up in the faith, we also want our kids to have a servant’s heart. There have been many times that I have taken meals to those who are sick or have had new babies, we have loaned our cars out, given money to the needy, volunteered time at church and so on. Of course we are nowhere close to being perfect role models but it is our prayer that we have successfully instilled such important values in our children. Of course getting them to do chores at home with a servant’s heart is a beast! We want our kids to get good grades but treating others kindly is more important to us. Love God, love people!

When I think about how hard it is to parent today, and especially for Christian parents, I totally get the challenge of raising kids to stay focused on Jesus. Believe me, I completely understand the days are long but the years are so short. What truly helps me is to focus on the outcome: teaching them and being for them the kind of person I want my children to become—the bigger picture stuff. Still, I do have daily devotionals for my older kids (my oldest child even has a Christian based book about puberty, includes scriptures and all!).

I am driven by lots of examples of great moms who’ve influenced me along the way, but most recently there is one mom specifically. She is so special to me and to anyone who meets her. If she is a part of your life, she is your number one cheerleader! That encouragement bubbles over in every moment. What is most inspiring though is that she’s had some personally really tough times. All too recently she lost her son to cancer. Despite watching him grow sicker and sicker, she refused to let Satan win. She even told me that she would write Bible verses on note cards at the hospital to stay focused on Jesus. Can you imagine?

That focus resonated deeply with me as I have watched her live this out. I hope nobody else has had the experience of losing a child but if you have, I pray that you keep your eyes on Jesus. This special lady is my hero and she doesn’t even know it. She is even going to college in her thirties, which is hard when everyone else in class looks 15! But she does it because she feels that teaching is what God has called her to do and she wants to make her son in heaven proud. When I think about my life’s little frustrations, I think about this lady and how she has fought hard to keep her eyes on Jesus. I am awestruck.

Hebrews 12:2 tells us, “Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed that exhilarating finish in and with God he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.”

Finally, the world today can be more discouraging than ever. I mean, I can barely read the news, when on a daily basis there is violence against innocent people. I don’t want to become desensitized to it and numbed out, yet at the same time, I need to be able to sleep at night without worrying myself into a frenzy. My worst fear is that my children or husband would be hurt. I try really hard to give that fear away to God, but it is a challenge when reading the news. I am sure that I am not the only woman who is fearful for her family, so here is a go-to verse that helps me:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

*************
Let us lift each other up, let us look to one another for encouragement, and let us lean in…to God, and to each other. Brandi has said it best: “…the days are long, but the years are so short.” May God richly bless you today, and always.

Do You Have Alligator Cracks?

20160815_110349

I was running down my street the other morning and I became aware of the many interwoven cracks in the road. Some were sealed, some were not. Some were long, some were short. Some vertical, some horizontal.
Later, I did some research and discovered these are often called alligator cracks. Sometimes they are referred to as fatigue cracks or crocodile cracks.

I could strangely relate to these cracks. They reminded me of myself – a series of cracks, patches and seals obtained throughout life’s difficulties. As I dug deeper, I realized I’m probably not the only person who could relate to the cracks in this way. My interest was piqued.

When I continued to research, I learned that alligator cracking is one of the costliest problems to repair according to Alpha Paving Industries in Texas. They say alligator cracking is “digging down to discover the underlying problems, then strengthening the asphalt’s base, is the only long-term asphalt repair solution.”
Isn’t this also true for us? I think how often I’ve been guilty of pretending everything’s peachy and smooth on my surface. But when I allowed myself to dig deeper, I discovered there are underlying problems – ouch! That was, and is, painful. But isn’t that the best way to repair and strengthen our base?

“To perform properly, the surface must have a strong, stable foundation. Lacking the support needed, cracks become more extensive…to the point that it can no longer withstand the weight and pressure of traffic.”

Well, isn’t this interesting? In many ways, we are like a road with alligator cracks, trying to withstand the pressure of life’s traffic. I have found when I don’t invest in my internal work – most importantly take time to strengthen my relationship with God – my foundation becomes unstable. It becomes increasingly difficult to withstand the weight and pressures of the world. It is then that I often tend to withdraw from those rooted in Christ and then even more of my support system fades.
But Jesus strengthens our foundations: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

In life, it’s not uncommon for there to be a “pile-on” effect with difficulties. Everything happens at once, doesn’t it? In 2008, I can remember my first husband and I separated; my 14-year-old beloved dog needed to be euthanized the following month; and then my 15-year-old cat developed cancer and had to be euthanized. All of this happened in only a matter of four months.
When I look back on that season in my life, I’m grateful for those challenges and for that heartbreak because it all helped me to become new again. It was in building my relationship with Christ that I gave God permission to make me whole again. To seal my alligator cracks and make me stronger than before.

In 1 Peter 5:10 (NLT) it says “In His kindness, God called you to share in His eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.”
“Assuming that the initial installation was correctly performed, alligator cracking is almost always the result of neglecting to make needed repairs and protect the surface with a sealant.”

In our society, we often have the mentality that we can’t discuss our problems or our issues. That we must be able to handle everything that comes our way – alone. All this does is create more cracks in our interior – our soul. God predicted this in Exodus 18:18 (NLT): “You’re going to wear yourself out – and the people too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.”
We all have cracks. In fact, it is in our cracks that God can do His best work. Our cracks are opportunities to lean into God and become closer to Him. We need to choose to let God repair our alligator cracks and let Him be our sealant. According to curtiscleansweep.com “repairing minor cracks can go a long way toward eliminating alligator areas… which can help your pavement realize its full life span.”

Once we get to the root cause of our cracks and let God seal them, we become stronger. As with roads, life, or the distress of traffic are no longer an issue once we’re fortified by God. “Don’t be afraid for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10, NLT)

Let’s try to embrace our alligator cracks, for it is in them that we can allow God to be our sealant and they can be repaired. Having experienced those cracks and letting them (and God) make us better and stronger have been some of my most cherished things in life.

How can you let God fill in your alligator cracks? How can you begin to appreciate them as a means to being more whole in Christ?

20160816_094514

Angela Hailey

We’re so glad Angela shared her story with us this week! Including being part of the SMC family, Angela enjoys spending time with her husband, two boys, her family and friends. She loves nature, laughing and improving herself.

Daddy’s Love Song

daddylovesong

In her book the Sacred Echo, Margaret Feinberg tells a story.

A young boy and his father were shopping at the mall. After only a few stores the boy had grown tired and fussy. In an effort to keep the boy’s crankiness at bay, the father picked up his son, pressed him tightly against his chest in a bear-like hug, and began singing a random, original song over his child. The lyrics blended phrases like, ‘“ love you,” “you are my son,” “I love being with you,” and “You and me together.” Though the lyrics lacked rhyme and the song lacked rhythm, the young boy sat calmly in his father’s arms for the remainder of the shopping expedition.

As they were leaving the mall and making their way to the car, the young boy looked up into his father’s eyes and said, “Sing it again, Daddy. Sing it again!” The words sung by his father were not tiresome; rather, they reminded the boy of his father’s love.

“Sing it again Daddy!”

There are times I just need to hear God singing over me.

There are too many mornings, days, nights that I walk through my dailies without a thought to what God is singing over me. I take a little sip of the Word and then wonder why I am parched when storm clouds start to build.

I am too busy taking care of busyness, checking off the to-do list, which does include “read the Word”, but you can read the Word and then you can read the Word. When life starts hurling wave upon wave towards me, I panic and strain to hear His voice.

I need to hear God’s voice, I need to hear the words “I love you, no matter what”, but it takes practice to hear God’s heart, and I am out of practice.

I take the shortcuts of Bible reading, the phone apps, the online devotionals, the morning emails, but when I feel the foundations of life crumbling I pick up the Book and start searching out the underlines, the highlights, the paperclips, the torn pages and I sit in silence and wait to hear.

So I sit and slowly open my heart, being drawn back to God’s own heart and I hear Him singing over me . . .

Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
It won’t be a dead end –
Because I am God, your personal God,
. . . your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you . . .
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
Trade the creation just for you. (Isaiah 43:1-4)

Sing it again Daddy . . .

Susan
IMG_1087b

Women Pursuing Friendships

20160613_151120215_iOS

My name is Virginia Elizabeth and most know me as Beth. We named our daughter Elizabeth and call her Libby. My grandmother’s name was Elizabeth but her friends called her Lib and her niece, Elizabeth, went by the name Libba. Elizabeth Ballinger was my grandmother’s great, great aunt back in 1842. Obviously, the name Elizabeth has been passed on in our family tree for many years. So, when I saw the name Elizabeth in the Bible, I instantly took a liking to her. Maybe we’re related down the long lineage of women.

I’ve read in Luke chapter 1 about Elizabeth several times, especially during the Christmas season. She was Mary’s, the mother of our Savior Jesus, cousin. I just finished the book Giddy Up Eunice (that Susan referred to last week) which dug deep into the relationship between Mary and Elizabeth that gave me a deeper understanding of their relationship and wanted to share a little bit about it with you.

One of the things I learned from reading that book is that there was quit a difference in their ages. I knew there was, but didn’t realize how much and honestly hadn’t paid much attention to that detail. Mary was a teenager while Elizabeth was probably into her 60’s. Like these days, being in two quite different ages, they each had different agendas, responsibilities, interests and friends. Yet, God put them together for a reason. God blessed both of these women with a child that neither expected which brought them together. They needed each other to navigate through this unexpected life experience. They could ask each other questions, listen to each other, pray together and praise God together. In other words, as Sophia Hudson says,

“At every age and stage in life, women need other women who will listen, confirm, teach, bless and pray.”

Several years ago I decided to leave work – at a retirement community I loved – in order to stay home with my children. During those years I was able to attend a Bible study along with carve out time with the Lord while they were napping. As I began to study His Word more and try to juggle with life’s demands and strive to be a good mom and wife, deep down I wanted wisdom and encouragement from a godly woman – a mentor.

I praying several times asking God for that. But that prayer wasn’t being answered; so I thought, “Well, since no one is knocking on my door, I must need to knock on someone else’s.” So, I did. I specifically asked a woman about eight years older than me to mentor me via phone conversations and emails. I had recently met her although she lived on the other side of the country. In the brief time I knew her, I learned she loved Jesus with all her heart and it was obvious in her family, faith and wisdom. I quickly respected and wanted to emulate her based on the emails we had written back and forth to each other since the one time we had met in person. She said she was so humbled for me to ask her to mentor me, but kindly said no but that didn’t mean we couldn’t continue our friendship.

When Mary decided to go stay with Elizabeth for a few months, she didn’t call her on the phone or send her an email or a text asking her to mentor her and share wisdom about how to get through the questions, concerns and maybe even fears that all of a sudden flooded her when she found out she was pregnant. Mary went to Elizabeth because she already had a relationship with her. She looked up to Elizabeth because she was older, has a little more life experience and was someone who believed her and believed in her. They could laugh and cry together and simply be together. They were not only relatives but also friends. As Sophia said,

“…maybe the very best way to find a mentor is to find a friend.”

Elizabeth welcomed this younger woman in her life with open arms as a friend does. There was something unique though. Their bond was strong because the Holy Spirit had brought them together at that time in their lives and Elizabeth felt it. Elizabeth is actually the first person mentioned in Scripture who was “filled with the Holy Spirit.” Again, Sophia said,

“When the Holy Spirit in one woman recognized and responds to the Holy Spirit in another woman, safe places become sacred spaces

Elizabeth recognized and responded to Mary’s holy experience because the Holy Spirit lived in both of them like He can and does in us.

So, it made me start to think back to when I was looking hard for a “more formal” mentor. I had them, but I didn’t realize it. There have been women in my life who weren’t necessarily trained mentors but who’ve loved me, prayed for me, spoke wisdom and cared about me as I was navigating through my teenage years until now. One of course was my mom, a Bible study leader, our baby sitter’s mom, my neighbor, and a friend who lives at Twin Lakes Retirement Community.

Soon after I realized that, my heart naturally began to reach out to younger women in my life, because if she were like me, she’d want a special and sacred friendship where she can be real and authentic. We all need someone in our lives to be our honest to goodness selves.

So, I ask you. Who are the Elizabeth’s in your life? Who are the Mary’s in your life? Who are the women in your life where you can be yourself – even with your flaws, scars, fears, and all? Who are the women with whom you can talk openly about your faith or struggles with it?

Pray and pursue a deeper friendship whether older and younger than you.

Beth

IMG_1567-300x200