Tag Archives: encouragement

Coping With The Unexpected

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Where Does My Help Come From? My Help Comes from The Lord, Maker of Heaven & Earth. Psalm 121:1-2

While help and hope come from the Grace of God, there is something else we all have in common…unbearably, with no choice. It will bring us to our knees in agonizing pain. Our physical body becomes numb to the outside world. Our emotional state is in turmoil. We’ve never felt this knife in our heart as if it is a permanent fixture. We are unable to think of the days, months ahead. What is this unexpected disruption in our lives? It is losing a loved one and now we are left to pick up the pieces of our lives while going through the grieving process. We tell family and friends we are ok because we’re only expressing a natural response to hide behind the emotions we never expected to feel.

“The hardest time to learn about the process of grief is while you are in the midst of it,” says Dr. Norman H. Wright.

Making the choice to write on grief tugged on my heart until it was endlessly all around me the last few months. I have recently grieved with dear friends over their loss of a spouse, a son, new born, a father and now a mother. While writing this, my aunt is planning her husband’s unexpected memorial in a few days. The emotions of grieving never crossed my heart until I witnessed my own father take his last breath 18 months ago. While I continue to cope with my loss, I continually pray for my dearest friends and family to draw comfort and peace from God. I found out, like my dear friends, grief is likely the most difficult journey we will ever take.

Though you have made me see troubles; many and bitter,
You will restore my life again; from the depth of the earth you will again bring me up. Psalm 71:20

Does our faith have anything to do with the way we grieve? God has made us so that we can somehow bear pain and sorrow and even tragedy. It is my intention to share with you what I didn’t expect and how I cope through the Word of God. Yes, cope. It is a continuous process unlike any other season. You feel as though the sails of your life have been ripped from your heart and you are no longer in motion. When trying to balance the feelings of pain and loss, while going forward with your everyday life, seems almost impossible. Your emotions not only hit hard, but they can also occur at unexpected moments, which make the impact seem even worse. Even though you may be in the depths of despair and feel that God is far away, now is the time to cling to whatever knowledge of Him you have. Today is the day to open your mind and heart for deeper understanding. In the Bible, God’s promises will also help you to endure unexpected, agonizing emotions. Do not be afraid of the shock that often comes in the early stages of grief. When you are grieving it seems impossible to get over grief, but what I do know is that with God’s help, you will get through it.

God is the source of our hope and joy. His love surrounds us and He is present in our lives right now…your story is just beginning to bring glory to God. Believe tomorrow will be better, help someone else through a painful process, serve others who are less fortunate, and make a difference in someone’s life. I can’t emphasis enough to attend a support group with fellow travelers on the journey through grief, getting involved in other lives that are suffering and living in His Word daily. Gradually, my agonizing heart turned to hope while joy returned slowly into my soul. Making every effort to pick up the pieces of your life does not wipe out the memory of a loved one. Allow the bittersweet memories to carve a holy place deep in your soul where you know your loved one will always be. I thank God every day there will be a beautiful light at the end of my journey allowing me to rejoice in the reunion with my loved ones in the Presence of His Holy Greatness! This vision gives me hope and keeps peace in my life…because I believe in my faith. It also reminds me my earthly father is in His Holy Presence.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Many of the right things to do in life are the most difficult things to do. God always shows me the way and helps me act with kindness and love so my heart is at peace…that’s what it is all about. Trust me, your life will slowly be restored and while you may never get over grief, you will get through it. God is the only source of our hope and joy. Will you allow Him to help you on this journey?

The Bible says this world is not our final home, and we are “strangers and pilgrims on the earth.” Our true home is heaven. And that is where God’s path leads.
– Billy Graham

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May His Peace Be With You,
lynnesig Lynne

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What’s G3?

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You’re invited!

Yes, that’s YOU!

To come to an evening once a month to connect with other women who NEED or WANT to have an evening to be recharged in the company of other women who have the same desire.

At SMC, starting Thursday, October 6 at 6:50pm in the Atrium, a monthly “G3 – Girls and God Gathering” will begin. As women gather around a table, it’ll be an hour of worship, conversation, and opportunities.

I’ll give you a little sneak peek since you’re here on our blog. There’s going to be a theme throughout this 6 monthly gathering where we’re going to go into the Word and see what it is that God, deep in His heart, wants us to know and experience.

As women, we know that communication is a part of our DNA, our heart and soul. Whether we are more talkative or more of a listener, conversation keeps us going and also shows care, respect, support, compassion and love for the person we’re in communication with.
And that not only goes with communicating with other people, but even more essential, is with God.

“Prayer is the nearest approach to God and the highest enjoyment of Him that we are capable of in this life.” William Law

So that’s what we’re going to delve into because prayer is like breath – it’s impossible to live very long without it. I bet I’m not the only one who is troubled about our country because of this election, unrest and brokenness, and disobedience to God taking place in our county, not to mention the terrors and instability of our world. There are people who are heartbroken, desperate, hurt, sick, lost and hungry who need the promises of God and can only be obtained through God’s Word and prayer. Deep down in the soul, I think there’s a longing for connection, peace and to be in the presence of God’s holiness.

But often, an authentic conversation with God can still seem unattainable. First of all, from personal experience, I can allow myself to become too busy to pray. But when I do, I’ve been distracted, my mind wanders to my to-do list for the day. Or how about this – I basically say the same prayer over and over like a repetition or ritual that really doesn’t come from the heart. Or, sometimes I talk the entire time asking God for Him to answer my requests and not even give Him the time to answer them because I won’t be still in silence and listen to what HE’S trying to tell me. And if I’m not doing that, sometimes it feels like I’m just talking to myself and question if what I’m praying really matters. God already knows what my thoughts are, anyway. whew, let me take a breath. How many more excuses can I find? Have you ever used any of them like I have?

I once did a Bible study about prayer written by Phillip Yancey and one thing he wrote stood out to me:

“When doubts creep in and I wonder whether prayer is a sanctified form of talking to myself, I remind myself that the Son of God, who had spoken worlds into being and sustains all that exists, felt a compelling need to pray. He prayed as if it made a difference, and if the time he devoted to prayer mattered every bit as much as the time he devoted to caring for people.”

Jesus, the Son of God, NEEDED to pray too. It’s how God created us as humans – to have that desire and longing to communicate to someone who loves us. And even though it can seem overwhelming or difficult, NOT GIVING UP on prayer is worship to our Lord.
Yancey also said,

“Jesus knew how the universe worked. He had lived in heaven and he lived on earth. He knew that prayer was a way to bring God and us human beings together. So, whenever something important happened in Jesus’ life, you’d find him at prayer.”

So whether you’re a prayer warrior, new at this thing, don’t have a clue how to, or somewhere in between when it comes to prayer, we welcome you to come to our “G3″ October 6 and be in communion with other women who feel the same way and have the desire to know God more intimately. Each month we’re going to look into what the Word has to say about prayer and ways we can enrich our prayers with our Lord. Come to as many as you can!

Flyers are at SMC this Sunday if you haven’t received one yet, or you can register here at http://www.exploresmc.org/events/215//g3-girls–god-gathering or go to our SMC Women Facebook Page and find the Event there to RSVP. Please bring a friend with you, too!

The Table

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“This is how the world changes–little by little, table by table, meal by meal, hour by hour. This is how we chip away at isolation, loneliness, fear. This is how we connect, in big and small ways–we do it around the table.” – Shauna Niequist

It is dark and stormy outside of my kitchen window as I sit at the table and type these words. There are echoes of thunder and stiff breezes, but even though it is a Monday morning, the wetness and breezes are welcomed after one long hot humid summer!

The seasons are beginning to change as we face the autumn equinox in a few days. Day are noticeably shorter and if you stand real still you can catch a slight nip in the early morning hours! Fall is upon us.

In the church year, fall is always the start of the new…classes, studies, youth groups. After a summer of travel and rest, fall is the season to gather and settle in.

Table is a word that has been pressed upon my heart for many years and been echoing in recent months.

The kitchen table I work on was hand crafted by a dear, kind friend many years ago. It bears water rings, and dents and even some marker that just will not be washed off.

It is the witness to stories, and tall tales, and much laughter, and many tears. Some of its patina is from problems and worries that have been sorted out, spoken out loud, and dissected and sometimes left laying.

The table is part of the heart of this home.

The table is a sacred place, a sanctuary, a retreat, a place to be gathered in, accepted, and “heard”.

In her book, Bread and Wine, Shauna Niequist writes:

The table is where time stops. It’s where we look people in the eye, where we tell the truth about how hard it is, where we make space to listen to the whole story, not the textable sound bite.

The table is a sacred space, a space where we intentionally talk about God in our lives and our lives with God, not in the parameters of a Bible Study, but a normal meal, or coffee, or dessert.

It is a place to ask questions, “Where do you find value or meaning in your life?” “What are you currently dreaming about?” “What can I do to care for you?”

Everyone has a story and I believe that deep inside us all, we want people to know us, to know our story, to say “you too? I thought I was the only one.”

“What good thing are you doing in your life that is making you weary?”

“How might God be using your weariness to redirect His plans for your life?”

In Bread and Wine, it is explained,

We don’t come to the table to fight or to defend.
We don’t come to prove or to conquer, to draw lines in the sand or to stir up trouble.
We come to the table because our hunger brings us there.
We come with a need, with fragility, with an admission of our humanity.
The table is the great equalizer, the level playing field many of us have been looking everywhere for.
The table is the place where the doing stops, the trying stops, the masks are removed, and we allow ourselves to be nourished, like children.
We allow someone else to meet our need.
In a world that prides people on not having needs, on going longer and faster, on going without, on powering through, the table is place of safety and rest and humanity, where we are allowed to be as fragile as we feel.
If the home is a body, the table is the heart, the beating center, the sustainer of life and health.

Come to the table.

I want a table. I want a table where all are invited, a community table.

I am not sure how this will play out, where the table will be located, on what day of the week, or time of the day, but The Table will exist with an open invitation to just come.

*I promise more information will be coming!

The Days Are Long, But The Years Are Short

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This is my good friend Brandi (I often refer to her as The Great Brandini for reasons that will be apparent as you continue reading). I’ve known Brandi for 15 years now, and I’ve known her husband since high school. Good people, Daniel and Brandi. And God-sent. Coming up on five years ago, they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse and I haven’t looked back. They invited me to attend SMC January 8, 2012 after my life completely imploded, and it was a life-changing and life-giving decision that I will never regret and will be ever-grateful for. So, when I need a little encouragement and inspiration (because being a single mom is hard…actually, being a mom is hard, period), I look at Brandi and value all that she brings to the table. I recently interviewed her to get a glimpse inside the daily workings of managing a household with four kids while trying to raise them in a God-centered way. What follows is the conversation we’ve had and what I see The Great Brandini live out each day.
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Brandi’s Story:

I was very active in church growing up and, as a young teen, I taught preschoolers in Sunday
school and even competed in church competitions, like choir and puppet shows. I still remember at one of these competitions I asked Jesus to forgive me and live in my heart forever. I will always remember that joyful feeling. Another thing that has stuck with me from those formative years are the many adults that were at church consistently, and that same servant attitude has continued to resonate with me. The Bible says “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10 Admittedly, serving the way I would prefer has become a challenge with having four kids and a husband who works a crazy schedule! But the lesson is still there.

Balancing everything is a challenge whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a working mom.
Believe me, I have done both but I can say that I am less stressed not working. I do miss the
social interaction that work outside the home brought, but I firmly believe it takes a village to raise a family. I encourage women, whatever their stage in life, to find a small group to meet up with a couple times of month just to get together for fellowship. On a daily basis, finding just a few minutes to read a daily devotional is a great way to focus on Jesus and the important things in life. Also, finding time to do something for yourself is very important. For me, it’s exercise, it helps me to maintain my sanity!

As for the kids, they all need different things but one thing that all have in common is that they crave my attention (and my husband’s, of course). We try really hard to spend one-on-one time with each of our four kids to quiet the noise and talk with them, play and just enjoy each other’s company. We normally say prayers at night with them which helps us all stay focused on what is important. We thank God for each other and our many blessings, we also pray for others who may be having health issues/problems, our sponsor child in Honduras and the list of names that we got several years ago at St Marks church. (Actually, several of those kids have since graduated but it’s been fun to see how God has worked in their lives). We want our kids to know that they can talk to Jesus anytime and about anything.

Because, in part, of the examples we both had growing up in the faith, we also want our kids to have a servant’s heart. There have been many times that I have taken meals to those who are sick or have had new babies, we have loaned our cars out, given money to the needy, volunteered time at church and so on. Of course we are nowhere close to being perfect role models but it is our prayer that we have successfully instilled such important values in our children. Of course getting them to do chores at home with a servant’s heart is a beast! We want our kids to get good grades but treating others kindly is more important to us. Love God, love people!

When I think about how hard it is to parent today, and especially for Christian parents, I totally get the challenge of raising kids to stay focused on Jesus. Believe me, I completely understand the days are long but the years are so short. What truly helps me is to focus on the outcome: teaching them and being for them the kind of person I want my children to become—the bigger picture stuff. Still, I do have daily devotionals for my older kids (my oldest child even has a Christian based book about puberty, includes scriptures and all!).

I am driven by lots of examples of great moms who’ve influenced me along the way, but most recently there is one mom specifically. She is so special to me and to anyone who meets her. If she is a part of your life, she is your number one cheerleader! That encouragement bubbles over in every moment. What is most inspiring though is that she’s had some personally really tough times. All too recently she lost her son to cancer. Despite watching him grow sicker and sicker, she refused to let Satan win. She even told me that she would write Bible verses on note cards at the hospital to stay focused on Jesus. Can you imagine?

That focus resonated deeply with me as I have watched her live this out. I hope nobody else has had the experience of losing a child but if you have, I pray that you keep your eyes on Jesus. This special lady is my hero and she doesn’t even know it. She is even going to college in her thirties, which is hard when everyone else in class looks 15! But she does it because she feels that teaching is what God has called her to do and she wants to make her son in heaven proud. When I think about my life’s little frustrations, I think about this lady and how she has fought hard to keep her eyes on Jesus. I am awestruck.

Hebrews 12:2 tells us, “Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed that exhilarating finish in and with God he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.”

Finally, the world today can be more discouraging than ever. I mean, I can barely read the news, when on a daily basis there is violence against innocent people. I don’t want to become desensitized to it and numbed out, yet at the same time, I need to be able to sleep at night without worrying myself into a frenzy. My worst fear is that my children or husband would be hurt. I try really hard to give that fear away to God, but it is a challenge when reading the news. I am sure that I am not the only woman who is fearful for her family, so here is a go-to verse that helps me:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

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Let us lift each other up, let us look to one another for encouragement, and let us lean in…to God, and to each other. Brandi has said it best: “…the days are long, but the years are so short.” May God richly bless you today, and always.

Do You Have Alligator Cracks?

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I was running down my street the other morning and I became aware of the many interwoven cracks in the road. Some were sealed, some were not. Some were long, some were short. Some vertical, some horizontal.
Later, I did some research and discovered these are often called alligator cracks. Sometimes they are referred to as fatigue cracks or crocodile cracks.

I could strangely relate to these cracks. They reminded me of myself – a series of cracks, patches and seals obtained throughout life’s difficulties. As I dug deeper, I realized I’m probably not the only person who could relate to the cracks in this way. My interest was piqued.

When I continued to research, I learned that alligator cracking is one of the costliest problems to repair according to Alpha Paving Industries in Texas. They say alligator cracking is “digging down to discover the underlying problems, then strengthening the asphalt’s base, is the only long-term asphalt repair solution.”
Isn’t this also true for us? I think how often I’ve been guilty of pretending everything’s peachy and smooth on my surface. But when I allowed myself to dig deeper, I discovered there are underlying problems – ouch! That was, and is, painful. But isn’t that the best way to repair and strengthen our base?

“To perform properly, the surface must have a strong, stable foundation. Lacking the support needed, cracks become more extensive…to the point that it can no longer withstand the weight and pressure of traffic.”

Well, isn’t this interesting? In many ways, we are like a road with alligator cracks, trying to withstand the pressure of life’s traffic. I have found when I don’t invest in my internal work – most importantly take time to strengthen my relationship with God – my foundation becomes unstable. It becomes increasingly difficult to withstand the weight and pressures of the world. It is then that I often tend to withdraw from those rooted in Christ and then even more of my support system fades.
But Jesus strengthens our foundations: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 (NLT)

In life, it’s not uncommon for there to be a “pile-on” effect with difficulties. Everything happens at once, doesn’t it? In 2008, I can remember my first husband and I separated; my 14-year-old beloved dog needed to be euthanized the following month; and then my 15-year-old cat developed cancer and had to be euthanized. All of this happened in only a matter of four months.
When I look back on that season in my life, I’m grateful for those challenges and for that heartbreak because it all helped me to become new again. It was in building my relationship with Christ that I gave God permission to make me whole again. To seal my alligator cracks and make me stronger than before.

In 1 Peter 5:10 (NLT) it says “In His kindness, God called you to share in His eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.”
“Assuming that the initial installation was correctly performed, alligator cracking is almost always the result of neglecting to make needed repairs and protect the surface with a sealant.”

In our society, we often have the mentality that we can’t discuss our problems or our issues. That we must be able to handle everything that comes our way – alone. All this does is create more cracks in our interior – our soul. God predicted this in Exodus 18:18 (NLT): “You’re going to wear yourself out – and the people too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.”
We all have cracks. In fact, it is in our cracks that God can do His best work. Our cracks are opportunities to lean into God and become closer to Him. We need to choose to let God repair our alligator cracks and let Him be our sealant. According to curtiscleansweep.com “repairing minor cracks can go a long way toward eliminating alligator areas… which can help your pavement realize its full life span.”

Once we get to the root cause of our cracks and let God seal them, we become stronger. As with roads, life, or the distress of traffic are no longer an issue once we’re fortified by God. “Don’t be afraid for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10, NLT)

Let’s try to embrace our alligator cracks, for it is in them that we can allow God to be our sealant and they can be repaired. Having experienced those cracks and letting them (and God) make us better and stronger have been some of my most cherished things in life.

How can you let God fill in your alligator cracks? How can you begin to appreciate them as a means to being more whole in Christ?

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Angela Hailey

We’re so glad Angela shared her story with us this week! Including being part of the SMC family, Angela enjoys spending time with her husband, two boys, her family and friends. She loves nature, laughing and improving herself.